Description Deficiency

If You Don't Think That Your Story Is Long Enough

So, Description Deficiency is a problem that some writers experience and it is that you don't have enough description in your work. Well, I will show you an example and I will then correct it.

Example:

"The Hood ran through the hallways of the building. He was very tired. He looked behind him. Scott was gaining. Holding a gun in his hand, he fired. The Hood tried to dodge the bullets but one hit him in his shoulder. It hurt very badly."

Explanation

So you know this is about some guy called, 'The Hood" who is being chased by Scott. Though you don't know who the antagonist for the whole story is, you know that Scott is The Hood's antagonist and The Hood is the protagonist. I would personally need more description.

How I would change it:

"The Hood ran through the dark hallways of the building. He was very tired and sweat ran down his face and his eyes began to burn. He turned his head and saw the man chasing him. Scott was gaining on him. The Hood's feet pounded on the tile and his knees began to give way; he kept running. Scott held a gun and fired. The Hood fruitlessly tried to dodge the bullet. The bullet dug into his shoulder and the pain and the speed forced him to the ground. Scott stood over the fallen man, grinning with his victory, or so he thought."

Remember To Add More Description

The description is always good and you should remember to add it. If your story seems empty, try to add more Figurative Language.